“Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh…” ~ Nickelback
I heard this song in the car about a week ago. It brought a series of emotions for me, and not necessarily all good ones. So, I’ve been writing this little thing in my head since then. Lucky you. I have to say, I relate to the lyrics more than I ever thought I would. I finally “got” it.
Actually, I have a stack of photographs of my own that I come across every few years. I sit in the middle of my bedroom floor and sift through them, reliving those good old days. The vacations, holidays, softball games… Crazy times. I laugh, cry, laugh again. You know the deal. You probably have a few of those sitting around yourself, no? Tucked into boxes and stored on shelves that you only revisit when you move or do really, really deep cleaning. And I have to say, a few of those photographs, they make me laugh until I cry. And those were the best ones…. Until a few weeks ago.
I don’t know if you follow me on FaceBook… if you don’t you should. Not too long ago I was cruising through an album of a so-called “friend”. You know how those picture albums just pop up on your page once in awhile? And I came across a picture of us on vacation, 30 years ago – yes, thirty — with my head blatantly cut out of the picture. Not just cut off the top, mind you, but the entire outline etched out. Not even an eyeball to be seen. Tagged, commented, the whole nine yards. Nice.
My first reaction? I was shocked, actually. My first impulse? To retaliate. But then I thought (for a good ten minutes,) why? Why would I be so petty? What a fine example for my children that would be! And then, I started to laugh. Because… well … really? REALLY???
“We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we’d find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel…”
I don’t revisit the past often. There’s a reason it’s called the past — because it’s passed. Nothing profound about that. I find it’s better to live in the present. In the moment. The time when you can create what you want in life instead of crying over, however cliché it may sound, spilt milk. And when I came across that picture with my head so blatantly ripped out I thought… how sad for them. To not know what it’s like to move forward. How very, very sad… (Truth be told, that wasn’t my first thought, but if I told you my first thought I’d have to shift on over to “adult content”– ha!)
Like I said, my first impulse was to react. To retaliate and tell those bitches what I really thought. I actually lost a bit of sleep over it. It brought back so many memories, and this time not the good ones. It brought back the ones I’m not so proud of. The ones that make me shudder when I think how dark a place I was once in. The ones I never share and bury further with each passing year, because I can. It’s not often I go to that place. And then I finally realized, maybe I should be saying thank you.
Thank you for making me realize, albeit over a few days and a few tears, we all did things we regret. At least, I think we all did. (And if you didn’t, kudos to you.) Kids make mistakes. That’s what they do. But I think the key word there is “kids”. And I’m sure if they are reading this, these kids will laugh because they made me cry. And the kicker? When I see her, whenever, wherever, but never on purpose, she gives me a hug and says how we should get together. Lucky for me, I left that black cloud behind.
So, in reverence to the thought process in my head, I’m here to tell you, I’ll not go back there again, ever. And if I do, it will be just to remember how I cautiously tiptoed from one stepping stone to the next, just to get out of that place. Because isn’t that what mistakes are? Stepping stones… which, if you let them, lead you to where you need to go? Like Peter Pan’s Wendy, I grew up. So much for the ones stuck in Never Land.
Ironically enough, I came across this quote a few days later, and immediately applied it to these unfortunate souls… (Thank God for that “there are no mistakes…” principle.)
“Most people naturally assume that if their life is not going the way they want it to go, something outside of themselves must be preventing the improvement… But while pointing the blame at others may feel better than assuming responsibility for unwanted conditions, there is a very big negative repercussion to believing something outside of you is the reason for your own lack of [happiness]. When you give the credit or the blame to another for your happiness or lack of it – you are powerless to make any change.” –Abraham-Hicks
You see, here’s what makes the difference between myself and the Lost Boys… I have control. I am in control. I am creating my own wonderful life, and from where I stand, I like what I see. But some people don’t. Some people see what they saw 20, 25, 30 years ago. It’s sad, really. Sad to not be able to change. But, I’m glad to say, not so sad for me. And, if you’re reading this in the right frame of mind, not for you, either.
And so, in disdain, refrain…
“Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye…”
I guess my point is easily summed… If there’s something bothering you, if there’s something you can’t let go of, get over it. If there’s someone who won’t let you get over it, get over them. Because in the big scheme of it all, it’s just not worth it, and you waste more time in which you could be rebuilding and moving forward. Just my two cents, but I ‘m living it and it seems to be working. Have a fabulous week, month, year, life. Be happy, healthy, and love every minute. [Amen…lol.]
As always,
Laurie
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