Thanksgiving… the day to give thanks for all your blessings. This time, last year, I thought I had covered it all while writing for what I am grateful. It was a witty little piece. About family, friends, and of course, my children, who are my one true source of joy. But if you asked me last year if I’d be waking up this morning giving thanks for every breath I am taking, thanks that I can walk in the other room and hug my children tight, all safe and sound, and they can hug me back, I would have never thought it would be so extreme, or, dramatic.
But this year, this year I truly give thanks for these very reasons. Yes, I have a great deal to be thankful for, always. But this year, it’s a very special thanks. A raise my glass to the Heavens thanks. A thank you God so profound I have no words thanks. And if you know me, you know that ‘no words’ thing is, most of the time, not on option.
We are, once again, in North Carolina for the Holiday. I love Thanksgiving down here. I love anything down here, I may add. It’s one of my favorite places in the world (and just so happens to be the home of a few of my favorite people.)
Yesterday morning, on our way, at about 5:30am, my husband fell asleep at the wheel and hit the cement divider. I was sleeping and woke up with the bang, thinking we hit another car. I then immediately turned around and started checking little heads… One, two, three, four… Who was asleep and who was wondering, as I, what just happened? Obviously, as you are reading this, we are fine. But it could have been worse. Much, much worse.
As it turns out, we hit the very bottom lip of the divider, the part that juts out into the road and keeps the thing standing, and put a little ding in the hubcap. That’s it. Three hundred miles later, when we pulled into my brother’s driveway, there was a bubble in the tire as well, but we had made it all the way there. Safe and sound.
When we pulled off earlier to assess the damage, gave the tire a good kick, and put the hubcap back where it belonged, I turned around and looked up, made the sign of the cross, and blew God a kiss. And then I started to cry.
I never really believed in God until a few years ago. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the whole concept of Heaven and all that jazz. I guess it didn’t help that I grew up having religion force fed to me either. Eventually I started to believe on my own terms. Now, I’d call myself more spiritual than religious. Definitely not a holy roller, but I have a sense of peace around me lately I’d never had years back. And, for the past 7 years, “My children are always safe in the hands of God” has been my mantra.
But last week, we had a huge disagreement, me and God, and I was pissed. God sent me a few things I didn’t think I could handle by myself. So, I looked up and said, “Screw you.”
I’ve heard before that God works in mysterious ways. And today, I believe that’s true.
Now, do I know if He sent us into that pillar as a wake up call? I don’t know. Did I wake up, metaphorically, in more ways than one? Yup. Do I know if, because I’m a writer, I can take this experience and spin it INTO a wake up call, when it actually was just a freak accident? Probably. But today, I don’t want to think so.
Today, I want to thank God for all my blessings, and my life, and the lives of my family. I want to believe, and take that wake up call and remember it during all those other times I want to look up and say, “Screw you.” I want to be grateful to Katie, to all my grandparents and aunts and uncles who have passed, and to whomever was shining their light down on our car as we traveled across six states through the night…
And I want to raise my glass and say how very grateful I am for that bump in the dark. Thank you , God. Thank you. Today, I am very grateful for more blessings than I can count.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.